Consequences
by MarenT
Summary: 4 years after Edward has left, Bella has to deal with the consequences of her reckless behaviour - her daughter Audrey. As the Cullens once again enter Bella's life, everything is turned upsite down: who will Bella choose, vampires or werewolves?
1. Unexpected

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**This idea just stuck with me for a while and I wanted to get it on "paper" to see how it would work out. ****I hope you like it, it doesn't give much away yet, but if you stick around it will be quite interesting. **

**Just know: I'm an absolute Edward/Bella supporter and I am from Germany, so my English needs some polishing!**

I was headed towards some club downtown Seattle to attend a concert of my current favourite band. I couldn't thank Angela enough for babysitting Audrey tonight; I needed to get out of that place. I loved Audrey, she was my life line, but sometimes it just all became too much. I really hoped she didn't notice that her mother is mental train wreck.

The past couple of years had been a rollercoaster. After _he_ left, I was a zombie. I still am a zombie in some respects, but it has gotten better, all thanks to Jacob. He helped me deal with the way I wanted to deal with the situation: I wouldn't be able to find another person that was as capable to come up with stupid and reckless things to do as he did. And I wouldn't be able to find a person more willing to go through with all the ideas I came up with myself. I stopped counting all the trips we had to make to the emergency room after riding our bikes or trying ourselves at cliff diving. I also stopped counting the trips we made to the endless number of tattoo and piercing shops; it was great to feel a different kind of pain that could, even if it was just for a short moment, at least dim all the other pain I was feeling. I forgot how many times Jake and I have woken up on the floor in his room or on the couch trying to deal with the aftermath of yet another drinking night. And one of those drinking nights is the reason I now have to find a babysitter for my 6-month-old daughter when I want to go out.

It has been 4 years now; 4 very difficult years of dealing with nightmares and the ghastly hole in my chest; I missed _him_ still with every fiber of my being, but now I had Audrey. She had no one else but me, she depended on me, so I quit trying to find ways to hear his voice in my mind. I had to make a conscious effort for her; my dreams and my own mental fantasies had to do.

Looking up to catch sight of my destination I could already see a small crowd assembling in front of the entrance. Lucky for me, my ticket was in the back pocket of my slightly used jeans. There would be no waiting. On the last few metres towards the main entrance I saw Jake's old Rabbit parked in a small spot across the street; since I saw him nowhere near his vehicle I guessed he must be in the club already saving me a seat. Just before I entered into the heat of the club that was basically vibrating from the loud music I caught a glimpse of some flashy silver car – while nearly falling over my own feet, I swiftly turned my head back around to see a shiny silver Volvo parked in a spot I would have found an awful lot too small to park in. I stopped dead in my tracks. A wave of pain crippled through me, as my eyes burnt holes into that car. _It cannot be_, I thought_, it cannot be him_. As fast as my heart beat quickened and my breathing became shallow showing how my hopes increased, disappointment set in. "Wrong license plate", I muttered to myself after my eyes had darted around to find and check that damn thing to sure to crash my hopes. After all these years of trying to convince myself of _his_ leaving without return, I still couldn't refrain from getting my hopes up at the sight of a simple silver car that was even quite common around here.

The music swirled around me as I made my way through the crowd searching for Jake. The music was so loud I could feel the drums shaking the floor.

"BELLA!", I heard someone bellow above me. I turned my head in the direction I thought the roar must have come from only to see my huge best friend waving his arms at me to come up to him. He stood behind the rail of the upper platform along with Embry and Quil grinning like a maniac. I saw a can of some energy drink on the table next to him and shook my head as I headed towards the small staircase that connected the ground floor with the upper platform. _That kid and caffeine is like the Tasmanian devil on Ecstasy. _Rounding the last table separating me from brawny friend I suddenly found myself engulfed in an enormous hug.

"Jeez, Jake, maybe you should take it easy with that red bull stuff, you can change into some weird creature already, you don't need wings to go with it", I said while struggling for freedom.

"Sorry", he said sheepishly, "but it's been some time since we saw each other last. You don't come to visit anymore-".

"Jacob, you know I'm not on very good terms with Charlie, do you have to rub it in?" He looked taken aback as I snapped at him. It has been a strain on me that my parents and I have ceased to communicate much with each other because of me getting pregnant and ditching school. But what should have done? _What should I have done…_I took a deep breath and began again,"Sorry, Jake, I didn't mean to snap, it's just not easy. Why don't we change the subject? How is every one in La Push?"

He gladly took my incentive to start anew and he threw himself into a lively description of yet another fight with Paul and how Emily scolded Sam for destroying their daily werewolf dinner because of trying to grill the burgers with a Bunsen burner.

It was nice talking about these random things which gave me a chance to take my mind off my usual worries. I was really starting to enjoy the evening as I leaned over the rail to get a better view of the band that had just hit the stage. The music was great and the singer was awesome. A great evening.

Suddenly, Jake started yanking on my arm pulling me away from the rail, down the stairs out of the club. Quil and Embry were right behind him with their eyes darting around the room as if trying to find something.

"God, Jake, let go of my arm! What is going on? Are you attempting to rip it of, or what?!" I yelled at him all the while trying to keep my balance and preventing myself from injuring my extremities with my awful clumsiness, "Jake? What is going on?" I asked this time a little more alarmed. As I stumbled next to him, I caught the expression on his face; it looked murderous.

He didn't look at me as he said the one word that would make my world crashing around me: "Vampires."

_Stupid shiny Volvo owner_. And everything went black.

**I know that this is not very long, but it is quite late already and I have to get up early tomorrow. Please, review, this is my first FanFic I wrote in English and about Twilight and please be honest with me; just tell me how hideous it is, don't be shy.**

**I will update tomorrow with another chapter.**

**HAVE A NICE NIGHT!**


	2. Loss

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**As I checked my eMails today, I was speechless: There were so many messages informing me about reviews, story alerts and so on that I really had to choke back tears (I know, bring on the drama, baby…). I feel so honoured and touched that people have read my story and that they liked it, which is why I start the next chapter with a HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE that found my story good enough to pay attention to. Again: THANK YOU!**

**So, here we go with chapter two…**

I was brought back to reality by the noise my screaming baby daughter created as she decided that it would be much more fun to torture her poor mother by yelling out of every last pore instead of sleeping. I wasn't ready yet to leave the darkness; it was so much more comforting to be in the nothingness than to face what might be waiting for me here. But my daughter needed me. Groaning rather loudly I opened my eyes and started to sit up only to see Angela trying futilely to calm down Audrey.

"Hand her over", I muttered to Angela when I reached her side; she obviously didn't notice that I had risen from my fainting spell, because she flinched slightly at hearing my voice.

"Are you sure? I mean, you've been out for quite a while, maybe you should take it easy. I really don't mind looking after Audrey for some more time", she answered while giving me a once over with her eyes. I could only imagine what she saw to make her doubt my motherly qualifications: zombie-me. I groaned inwardly this time.

"It's okay", I said as I picked up the screaming toddler. I put her head on my breast softly humming her favourite tune to her and swaying her from side to side. She calmed down immediately and was fast asleep in mere seconds. _Just as I did every time I heard this melody_, I cautiously thought to myself. The familiar pain entered my heart, but I didn't have another choice now. I had to deal with something much bigger later on, better to start preparing now than to have it all crashing down on me at the same time. "How long have I been out anyway?", I asked Angela after I had put my baby back into her small crib.

"About an hour. I was really worried, Bella. One moment I am sitting on the couch watching TV, and the next Jacob is carrying your limb body into your bedroom telling me you fainted and needed time to rest. What happened anyway?" Confusion and worry were etched in Angela's face. I gestured to her to follow me into the living room, so that we didn't wake up Audrey with our conversation. As we entered the other of my two rooms, which wasn't much more than an old couch, a small coffee table, some shelves with an old TV and Stereo and a tiny desk with the laptop I got from Charlie and Renee for Graduation, I noticed that my best friend was nowhere in sight. I couldn't even hear him in the kitchen (his favourite place) searching through my nearly empty fridge or in my petty bathroom bumping against the wall because it must have been built for people the size of hobbits instead of huge werewolf people.

"The club was packed, maybe it was just a lack of oxygen or something", I mumbled. What else should I have told her? _Well, I fainted because my werewolf friends smelled their mortal vampire enemies which actually happen to be the family of the love of my life who has abandoned me and turned me into a zombie_… Yeah, definitely.

"Well, then, okay", she said. "Those places are sometimes really a little muggy." I could see that she didn't buy my story, but that is why I appreciate that she remained my friend even after experiencing my zombie-phase at its worst. She respects that I don't like to talk about such stuff and therefore she doesn't ask many questions. "If you're really okay, then I think I should head back to my dorm. I have a lecture early tomorrow that I don't want to miss. If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call, alright?"

"I'm fine, Ang, don't worry about me", I told her while shushing her in the direction of my door. "But thanks… for everything. I hope you know how much I appreciate your help; I wouldn't know what to do without you." I needed to tell her this; it was the only thing I could do to thank her for all her input in my messed up life since I didn't have anything else to give her.

"Bella, you're my friend, it's only natural for me to help. Remember, whatever you need, okay?", she said before embracing me and heading out of the door.

I leaned back on my now locked apartment door and closed my eyes trying to decipher my feelings. There were so many of them; I hadn't felt this much in a long time. I was scared to death because I didn't know what was coming. I was sure _that_ something was coming, I just didn't have the faintest idea of what _that_ might be. I was confused because I didn't know what they were doing here. I was hopeful, even though I knew it was in vain. I was afraid of Jacob's reaction if I ever told him that I was still secretly in love with _him_. He is always so angry, when someone mentions them; I knew that he blamed the Cullens for his change. But his anger in that situation was nothing compared to the fury he unleashed, whenever I mentioned _him_, although that has only happened a handful of times in the past years.

And what about Audrey? She was my priority. Somehow I didn't think their reappearance was a very good thing considering the _dislike_ Jake and his pack felt towards them (I refused to use the word "hate" because after all I have been through myself, I couldn't hate them). Jake always talked about "unsolved issues" between the two parties and I couldn't shake the feeling that a confrontation would turn into war very fast. And I didn't want my daughter in the middle of that.

I had just started thinking of ways to prevent an open war, when someone began pounding on my door in an extremely loud manner.

"Angela? Open up! Is Bella awake already?", Jake yelled.

I unlocked my apartment and tore open my entrance. "Jake, it is the middle of the night, I have neighbours, can you be a little louder?", I scolded him annoyed.

"Let me in already. Is Angela still around?", he growled at me and shoved himself through the doorway. I shook my head no and he plopped on my couch and put his head in his hands before speaking. "They're back."

I was paralyzed. "What do you mean 'back'?" I couldn't get myself to say anything else through the mumbo-jumbo that was happening in my head at his words. I knew that the vampires he had mentioned before my blackout were them, but still. My mind still partly refused to wrap itself around the concept of their return.

"All of those bloodsuckers have happily scrambled back into their nice little house in Forks. Sam has checked himself. Embry, Quil and I had a special little chat with him, if you know what I mean, while we were outside." Jake slowly started to shake. He was too agitated and it began affecting his self-control. "How dare they! After all they've put us through, they still have the nerve to show their stupid leech faces in this area!"

By this time he had gotten up from my couch and the shaking had increased immensely. I took a step back. Honestly, I was starting to feel a little afraid of him; never in our time as friends had he lost that much control, not even in the beginning of his time as a werewolf. "Jake, calm down", I said soothingly. I was thinking of Audrey in her crib, sleeping soundly. I couldn't have him changing in the apartment.

"Calm down?! Bella, do you remember what they did to you? To US?" he shouted now.

"No, I didn't forget!" I shouted now, too. "But that doesn't make me hate them! Or _him_! Should _he_ have forced himself to love me and stay with me, even though it was something _he_ didn't want? I'd much rather I was alone and _he_ was happy, than us being together and _him _being miserable" I was fuming now. How dare he! He didn't understand anything. "And your change? I doubt they knew what kind of effect they had on you, otherwise they would not have stayed in the area. They are good people at heart, they have saved my life many times over. But because you have this mortal enemies nonsense squashed in your brain, you won't ever be able to look beyond your prejudices, Jacob!" I was really angry. He had no right to judge; he didn't even know them.

"Are you defending them, Bella?! They didn't care for you! You were just a toy for them that became boring after some time and then they dumped you! They dumped you without caring about your feelings or about what could happen to you! Open your eyes, Bella: bloodsuckers will be bloodsuckers!" he roared at me. His shaking had not subsided, instead he now had a very sick expression on his face. He was sick of me, sick of what I had said. "But I see you won't budge. You have made your choice." He looked down for a moment. As he looked up again, into my eyes, his expression was cold. "I'm off." He turned around and headed for the door.

As I realized what he was about to do, what I had caused by not watching my words, I felt another huge pain enter my chest. I had made a huge mistake. I didn't intent to defend them, it just all came out; I couldn't keep it in; it was as if something inside of me took control of me and made me say all of those things. As if my need for the Cullen's good reputation was more powerful than the need for my best friend. But I knew the Cullens were people far outside of my world, but Jake was very much in it. He was my sun, I didn't want to hurt him, I needed him. He needed to stay.

"Jake, don't leave, please. I didn't mean to offend you!" I begged. I couldn't loose him, too. I had lost too much already, not my best friend also.

He stopped at the doorway and turned around, "I _cannot_ understand you. I won't ever be able to. I have tried for years, but it's useless. I _cannot_ be friends with you if you think leeches are good people." And with that he strolled out of the door throwing it shut behind him.

"Jake! Jacob! Jake…" I cried repeatedly. But he did not come back.

I broke down sobbing in the middle of my living room. I heard Audrey cry in the bedroom, having woken from all the yelling. But I couldn't get up. I had lost Jacob. I had lost my best friend. The only person who had cared, who had really known all about me.

I was alone. Alone with a baby girl that I didn't know how to raise without help.

I was broken beyond repair. Just now, there was no denying it anymore.

**So that's it for today. I try to post the next chapter as fast as I can. Please, review. I love to have some constructive criticism. **

**Have a nice day!**


	3. Thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Hello, everyone! Thanks for the reviews, there were so nice. I am sorry that I didn't update any sooner, but I got sick over the weekend and before that I was very busy with my internship. I hope, however, that I can make some more time to write now!**

I can't say how long I have been lying on the floor sobbing. There was just so much pain, too much for me to be able to deal with.

My time with Jacob passed before my eyes in slow motion. I could see us riding our bikes, two warm sodas in a brown paper back, the old shag, how we were sprawled across the living room floor in Charlie's house doing homework.

I could see all of the times we have been stupid together: the cliff diving, how he held my hand as we crashed in the waves below us, how he pulled me out of the cold water every time and how we laughed afterwards. I could see how I had my first tattoo done, a rose with a fallen leaf, how he tried to soothe my pain by rubbing my back. He has always tried to soothe my pain; it wasn't his fault that I was such a wreck. Nothing could have helped me. Nothing. There was no way to heal from the hole in my chest.

I knew that he always hoped that I would be okay one day. At least okay enough to be able to build a relationship with him, a romantic one. But I have never been okay enough. I was so sorry for him, he had all these feelings for me, but my heart was long lost. Lost with the person that would always remain my only love.

For all these years I denied him, but he never stopped trying anyway. Sometimes when we were drinking, he told me I was the only thing that made his life worth living. He hated being a werewolf and I made that better. And when he said something like that I felt guilty. I was an empty shell, no one should feel like I was worth enough to live for.

And some part of me even told me that we weren't right for each other. Not just because I had already given my heart to someone else, but because of Jacob. He hadn't imprinted on me. If we were meant to be together as he thought we were, then he would have imprinted on me, I was sure. But he never had.

I loved Jake, as much as I was capable of loving someone. I would always feel gratitude for his actions. He saved me as much as he could. No matter how much I screwed up, he was there to help me. Even after I had hurt him by spending a night with another man. Granted, I was drunk, but that didn't matter. The day I told him that I was pregnant, I could see the hurt in his eyes. But all he did was ask what he could do to help me.

Jake was the only one that didn't shout or cry at the thought of me keeping my baby, although he had a lot of reason to, because in some way I had betrayed him. But he didn't do anything like that; he held me in his warm arms and swayed me from side to side, just like I did now with Audrey, when she was upset.

He was in the labour room with me supporting me the best way he could as I brought my daughter into this world and he has always been there to help me with her. In some ways he became some kind of surrogate father to Audrey. The thought that I had taken away her father figure with my stupid words brought on another round of hysteria.

But through my tears I could hear my baby's wailing and it finally stopped my outburst. I was the only one she had left. I have to be strong for Audrey. I have to make it up to Jake. I will preserve our friendship. For Audrey. And for me.

I slowly got up from my position on the floor and made my way to the bedroom. From the doorway I could already see Audrey crying and thrashing all over her crib.

"Shh, sweetheart, I'm here, it's okay", I mumbled to my toddler as I picked her up and walked over to the rocking chair in the corner with her in my arms. Jake had retrieved it from Charlie's house for me, because I didn't have the money to buy a new one. I sat down on it and rocked back and forth humming our favourite tune to both of us.

Audrey started to grow quieter as I heard a knock on my door. I knew right away that it couldn't be Jake, because he always pounded on my door, whenever he came around. At first I was a disappointed that it wasn't Jake, but then my curiosity peaked up. It was 2 a.m. in the morning, who else would want to see me at this time, I wondered while slowly making my through the apartment towards the door still having little Audrey in my arms.

I didn't have many friends besides Angela and Jacob. Most people tended to avoid me once they knew that I was a poor single mother trying to fight her way through her pathetic life.

Then the suspicions began nagging on me. 2 a.m. in the morning. Most people were asleep at this time. But there were some _people_ that _didn't _needto sleep.

My steps faltered. _I'm not ready, I'm not ready, _I kept repeating in my head. My hand shook as I balanced Audrey in my arms to be able to reach the doorknob. A second knock. Somewhere in me a voice told me that it wasn't wise to open the door at such an hour. That there could be anyone waiting behind that door. But I couldn't stop myself. I had to look. I had to _see_…

I turned the doorknob and my entrance creaked open. It seemed a little like those horror movies, when the main character opens her door to face the evil that is waiting outside, the axe murderer or something like that.

But there was no evil behind my door. At least I didn't think she was evil. My door revealed someone with spiky black hair bouncing up and down on the same spot, smiling hugely.

And I was engulfed in blackness a second time that night.

**Sorry, that this is so short, but I found that this chapter and the next needed to be separated, even though there is not much happening in this ****one. But there will be a lot of action in the next one, I promise!**

**I love reviews, they make my day, so please REVIEW!!!**

**Have a nice day!**


	4. Reason

This time I awoke to someone stroking my hair gently

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything concerning the Twilight Saga. **

**I AM SO SORRY that it took me so long to update, but I am back at university and my teachers are just killing me with stuff to do in English and Latin…. I have some time this weekend, though, and I hope I'll be able to write a little more!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate you comments very much and I love constructive criticism. So, please, feel free to review some more and help me with my story!**

**So, here is the fourth chapter…**

This time I awoke to someone stroking my hair gently. I could hear little cooing noises in the backround, only very faint, showing me I was still not really in the land of the living.

"Shh, little girl, it's okay, mommy will be up soon", I heard a voice say that sounded like an angel singing.

And then it came rushing back to me again. The club, Jacob and someone with spiky black hair bouncing on my doorstep.

"Alice?", I mumbled groggily and opened my eyes to see my best friend sitting beside me on my bed with my baby girl in her arms. She hasn't changed_. Of course, she hasn't, you idiot_, I scolded myself mentally. _She is a vampire_.

The beautiful angel looked down on me and smiled. "Bella."

I didn't know that I could move so fast, but in the next moment I found myself clinging to her cold granite neck. She was proof. Proof that I haven't gone crazy for nothing. Proof that _he_ existed somewhere in this world and that it wasn't just a dream, however unrequitted it may have been.

Alice must have seen what I intended to do because she quickly pulled Audrey out of harms way. I could feel the arm that wasn't holding my daughter slowly hugging me back.

"Bella. It's been so long. I missed you", she whispered against my hair.

I slowly pulled back from her cold body. I saw her looking me over, glancing at my small appartment and then at Audrey. "It seems like a lot has happened since we've seen each other last." Her face showed signs of disapproval.

I glanced at the used carpet on my floor; many small holes made it look more like Swiss cheese than something to cover a surface. Audrey's crib was old and beaten, as was my bed that I had found on a sale in a small run-down warehouse. I knew my living arrangements were far from being the Taj Mahal, but it was all I had. I wasn't about to let another person judge me.

"Well, what did you expect to find? Me winning the lottery living in the Hollywood Hills and wearing brand clothes like you always tried to force me into?" She looked taken aback by my snapping. Probably surprised that the gullible Bella she knew was gone. But that is what life makes of you, if it doesn't treat you fairly. A zombie.

My reply was probably rude to the extreme, but I couldn't help it. It's been so many years. When she spoke her words like that, it sounded as if I had somehow disappointed her, as I had failed. But she didn't understand. When they left they had taken my future away from me, my plans, my dreams, everything. My love. It all fell apart. And here I am now, living in a rotten place very few people would ever be able to call home, even _after_ a renovation, being constantly broke and having to raise a kid on on my own. Maybe I'm exaggerating, she hasn't really said anything, but the look on her face seems to tell the whole story. She has no right, whatsoever, to judge me.

I reached around her to take Audrey in my arms and then I stood up and put her into her bed. She cooed again, having no clue yet about the world and how harsh it could be. _And I hope she will never find out_, I thought.

I straightened up and headed to the living room without a second glance at my visitor.

"Bella, wait. I didn't mean it like that", she started, but I cut her off.

"What did you mean then?" I whirled around and gazed at her. It was nearly too much, her beauty, her presence, a symbol for everything I have lost and will never again gain.

"I just meant that we didn't expect to find you in such a predicament", she said, and as she saw that I wasn't about to interrupt her again, she continued. "I knew that you weren't going to just move past him, I tried to tell him that as he made the decision to leave you, but he wouldn't listen. Nevertheless, I didn't think that by the time we would return, because I _knew_ that he wouldn't be able to apart from you for too long, that you would be in such a bad shape. It is much worse than I ever thought it would be."

I was frozen on the spot. She was talking about _him_. But what was she saying about returning? I didn't understand. And I couldn't bear it. I wasn't ready to hear every little detail about why I wasn't enough for _him_. I didn't know if I would ever be ready. But I couldn't tell her to stop, then she would leave, my connection to him would leave and I might never have the chance to see him again. I had to keep her here. So, instead of stopping the torment, I urged her on.

"What do you mean 'we'?", I whispered finally.

"We are all here, Bella." She smiled.

"Are you here because of me?" I watched her face closely to see her reaction. And I felt shock ripple through my entire body, as I saw it.

Her voice reflected the emotion shown on her face. "There are laws, even in our world, that have to be followed, and there are beings that punish those who do not keep to the laws. The existence of vampires has to be kept a secret and the lives of those who know too much are forfeit", her topaz eyes burned into mine, "and you, Bella, know too much. They are coming for you."

I hadn't known her for very long, but Alice had always been the source of positiveness in her family. Which is probably why it shocked me to see so much fear in her eyes.

**Please, review!**

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Thanks for reading and have a nice day!**


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